Cat & Mouse
by wonderland07
Summary: Set during an AU Arkham city. Contains spoiler's. Please don't read if you haven't played the game. The events of Arkham city have changed a little. Contains all the same characters. Harley is kidnapped by Penguin whilst on patrol, leaving Joker to find her. Will he make it in time?
1. Chapter 1

Cat and Mouse

Set during an AU Arkham city. Contains spoiler's.

Harley is kidnapped by penguin whilst on patrol and joker has to get her back.

Little note: Just so it's clear, the events of Arkham city have changed a little. Contains all the same characters and everyone is still at war with each other but Joker recovered and is back to his normal (ish) self. Batman is around but won't make much of an appearance. Enjoy :)

Harley's prov.

The night is dark and cold. The snow is falling lightly, leaving small piles on the streets that used to be part of Gotham but are now the battle grounds of a war zone with every inmate fighting for themselves, over scrapes of food and shelter. Most have teamed up with one of the city's highest criminals, battling for territory and power. My Mr J among them, obviously he has the most, being most powerful and everything. But Penguin's thugs still rome the streets, killing our men and then theres the threat of the others; I heard Catwoman is around and Iv seen Eddie's trophies here and there. There's also a rumor that Harvey was the first Batman took down, apparently he beat his guys to a pulp and left Harvey hanging in his precious court room. And theres Freeze, the guys blame him for the ridiculous weather and I can't say I disagree, its never been so cold. And even though the steel mill is warm and dry, outside its freezing.

Which is where I am. Penguin blew up on the bridges on the amusement mile and Mr J went mad. He shouted and screamed for what seemed like ages before he started on me, the bruises are already starting to show and i still cant raise my left arm higher than my shoulder. My nose has stopped bleeding though and it doesn't feel broken. I must look a mess though, there's dried blood in my hair and I haven't slept in days but Im sure my new black eyes will help mask the dark circles that are proof of my insomnia.

The cold outside is welcome on my cuts and bruises though, providing gentle relief from the constant throbbing. I bend down and scoop up snow from the ground and place it on my shoulder, perhaps it will calm down the swelling or at least numb the pain so I can move my arm again. I don't mind being outside so much, I know I'd rather be with my puddin' but he's so angry right now he threw me out (I managed to fall at an angle that I landed on my bum so not to break anything else) and at least walking the perimeter gives him time to cool off, perhaps when I get back he'll be in a mood to warm me up. The flashing neon lights give me something to look at though and amongst the rubble of the ruined buildings around, it really is quite pretty. I wander to the edge of our domain, the guys around don't look at me in the face, but I see them glancing my way every now and then, I resist to urge to shoot them. Mr J will need all the help he can get if he wants to take down Penguin, Penguin may not have as many followers as puddin' but he has all sorts of weapons locked up in his museum.

I get sick of them staring at me so I walk further on.

I feel a little adventurous, walking on my own. I wonder around the back of one the buildings following one of the ally ways. There's no one down here to eye Mr J's property. When I come out the other side, theres another group of guys kicking the crap out of some of Penguin's thugs, now I know I shouldn't be around here. We must be right on the edge of our two territories, but I cant help feel a little giddy as I watch blood pour out of one their mouths. "Ah", I think to myself, "what the hell, maybe they'll let me have a turn". I wonder over to the group with the hope I'll be able to relieve some stress through kicking and punching some of those losers when suddenly I feel a sharp pain on the back of my head, I'm too shocked to call out and fall helplessly to the ground, my knees giving out beneath me. I manage to get a look at the stars in the sky (I love stars, they really are beautiful when they twinkle) before everything goes black.


	2. Chapter 2

Cat and Mouse

Joker's prov.

Damn this place. Being stuck in a bloody god damn steel mill, in fucking Arkham City. Trust Harley to land us here. She had the whole world and of all the places to escape to we get stuck here. Pathetic excuse for an Asylum. Taking of Pathetic, I cant help but wonder where Harley is. I know I threw her out after bird brain blew up one of the bridges I was going to use to cross over into his "territory" and stick some glass into his other eye, but really this is going a bit far. She's being gone ages when she should be here showing these bozo's how to use a gun. Perhaps she's gone to see weed face, I heard it through the grape vine that she's stuck in here too. Ah well, its nice to have a little peaces and quite without her yapping and pawing at me. Might as well make the most of it.

Where the blazers is she! When I get my hands on her, *I'll shoot her so full of lead I could sharpen her head and call he a pencil! I'm seconds away from carry out this threat on the next unlucky soul who's standing outside my door, when there's suddenly I hear the sound of shouting from downstairs in the loading bay. "That better be Harley", I say to myself. "That dumb broad has left me to deal with these fools who I have more important things to be doing". I go down to see.

There's one man, youngish, covered in blood, his own by the look of it. Its' also left streaks along the floor and a small bloody puddle is forming where he is standing. The other's are stood around him, one supporting his weight and the other pressing a cloth to the side of his face. Whats left of it anyway.

They stop talking and fall silent as I walk forwards. Most look away. Really this is wasting my time. Harley should be the one doing this - that's what she's for. Stupid girl. They step back as I approach the poor bugger. I raise my eyebrows at him. "Your bleeding on my floor", I explain to him.

"Sorry Boss", he stammers, he looks as if he's about to collapse. "It's just that we were ambushed my Penguin's guys". He takes a deep breath.

"Were you now", I smile at him. "Thats too bad". He starts to shake, probably guessing that I'm going to shoot him, maybe I wont kill him just yet. It's fun to watch them squirm.

"They... they... they came from nowhere", he stutters. "We had some of their guy's, took their guns and knocked them around a bit". "I could do with knocking someone around a bit", I think, this is getting boring. "Damn it where is Harley".

"And then they came, a massive group of them and shot us all". Now there is a blow I wasn't expecting. Fair enough I have more guys than Pingu but thats not the point. My guys are for me to kill and maybe Batman, but mainly me. Penguin will pay for that one.

"They killed us all. They got me too, but I fell to the floor as the real shooting started, so I missed most of the bullets", the puddle of blood is getting steadily larger and is making its way to my shoes. My fine black and white Oxford shoes. I take a step back. And look up at him. "Well aren't you the lucky one".

"Yes, sir, Mr Joker sir. I took one of their transmitters, its got a radio on too".

I laugh. "Well theres a smart little trooper". I take it from him and look at it. "You know, I think this could just come in handy". The guy breaths a sigh of relief and visibly relaxes.

I pretend to look shocked, "Oh dear, it looks like your suffering from quite a bit of blood loss, your pretty pale, almost white". I take out my gun and point it at him. "Unfortunately, I'm the one with the white face around here". And I shoot him in the head. The bloody puddle gets even bigger.

I turn to the rest who are all staring. "Clean this up", I tell them. I then take a look at the transmitter radio thingy. I turn it on. There's a lot of buzzing at first but then voices can be heard over the crackling. "Yes we did it, there all up". "Good, grab the rest and get back". I recognize that nasal voice as Penguins. "One more thing Boss, we found a girl. We think its Harley Quinn". My stomach drops - what an unpleasant sensation. I'll have to punch her for that later.

"The Clown's bitch you say".

"Yes Boss", the voice continues. "Positive its her, she's got blonde hair and everything".

"Well bring her back then. And be quick. I'll make her scream her pretty little head off before I cut out her heart. Perhaps I'll send it to the Clown as a joke".

The sound of Penguin's laughter makes me shiver with anger, I physically see red, drop the radio and shoot every single person I see until I have ran out of bullets.

Damn it Harley you pathetic waste of space. I wonder back through the dead bodies that cover the floor of the loading bay and up to the managers office to start planning my attack. I'll have to move quick, Im the only one who can make Harley scream. I also jot down some ideas how to kill Penguin - each is slow and painful.

* I heard this insult once and I been dying to use it. I can't remember where it came from but all rights go to that person.


	3. Chapter 3

Cat and Mouse

Just a little heads up, this chapter can be a little graphic.

Harley's prov

It was warm. That's the first thing I felt. I moved my hands; for once they weren't numb from the cold. I still ached everywhere after Mr J's little outburst, but now there was a new pain, something that I don't remember being there before, a large pounding in my head and a slight feeling of nausea and an overwhelming feeling of dizziness. I try to open my eyes without throwing up and resist the urge to hold onto the floor in case I fall off.

When the blurring from my eyes finally clears, I notice I'm lying of the floor of what looks like a stadium. The celling is very high and concave shaped with cages dangling from it; it looks like people are in there. I sit up. It's at that moment that I realize the people in the hanging cages are men. My men. Well Mr J's men, but still. I recognize them as the ones beating up Penguin's thugs. 'Oh shit', I think, 'this can't be good'.

A cold feeling of dread creeps up my spin. Where the hell am I? I really hope this is a joke my puddin is playing on me since its so boring around here. The pounding has gotten steadily worse so I touch my temples hoping to ease some of the pressure. It works a little. With the power to think again, I take a moment to look around. It's a large open room surrounded by barbed wire and the buzz of electricity tells me theres a current flowing through it. On the other side there are stairs leading to a platform that overlooks the main area. And on top is a sight that replaces the pain in my body with blind panic. The Penguin is gazing at me, pointing his umbrella my way with an evil glint in his one eye and a sick smile on his face that would rival my puddin's.

"Welcome, my _dear_", he sneers. I hear jeering and it's at that moment I see the three metal gates separating a mass of Penguin's thugs from me. They are staring with hunger in their eyes that I wish my Mr J would sometimes have, but now only sends warning signals to me head instead of excitement to other parts of my body.

I look up defiantly at him, determined not to see me panic. I place my hands on my hips. "What the hell do you want Penguin?"

He just smiles, "You, are going to tell me Joker's plans for taking over this city".

I smile back, my special smile I have perfected over the years thanks to my puddin's guidance. "Like hell I am".

"Hey guys", there's a shout of acknowledgement his followers, "did you hear about the blonde with a PHD in psychology? She'll blow your mind too!"*

I inwardly cringe, but put on my best poker face and reply, "You laugh now Cobblepot, my puddin will find me and wipe that smug look off your face, or perhaps he'll give you a new one. Maybe he'll let me watch, I always enjoy a good show. And you look like a squealer." I add a smirk for effect.

His troops holler at me as he laughs some more. "I'd like to see him try. This is my city and he's even more of a fool if he can't already see it. The clown prince of crime has had his last laugh and I'm going to make sure the joke is long one".

I look up to the men in cages, but there's nothing they can do; I'm truly on my own and at the mercy of Penguin and this thugs. He has a lot of thugs. My legs start to shake as I imagine _all _the things they could do to me. I can't even begin to count how many he has.

'Stay strong Harl', I think to myself. 'You can do this'. But the sound of one the big metal gates in front me beginning to open crumbles my resolve. I take a step back and look around franticly for some form of escape. But there is none. Every metal door is controlled from the platform and although I could flip to the barbed wire to keep away from the crowd coming towards me, I don't fancy being fried.

They carry bats and metal poles, as well as electrical sticks and knives. Thankfully no guns. Im not stupid enough to think I could take on a gun, especially one of Penguin's high tech ones.

They begin to surround me, moving in perfect synchronization until in the middle of a large circle.

"Ready", Penguin's voice calls from up above. "Don't go easy on her boys, she's used to pain eh Harley. I think we could give her more than her _precious lover_". He is right of course, I've endured so much at the hands of the Joker, but I'm determined not to go down without a fight.

As the first one to take a swing lunges forward, I quickly dodge and summersault over to the other side of the room where I press the nearest guy's head into the electrical fence. He frazzles pretty quickly. I keep that in mind as block on coming punches and kick a few legs out from underneath them. I have pretty good stamina but fighting 60 guys or so soon takes it toll and I can feel fatigue setting in, after all I'm not fucking Batman. I manage to break some bones as I flip and kick and punch my way around the room, but just as I think I have a good spot to take down a guy with a machete I feel a stab of pain, as an electrical current is passed through my body. I can't help but cry out as it dawns on me how I misjudged the speed that guy can run. I fall to my knees and I'm too slow to block on coming punches to my face and body. But I can handle it. It takes a lot to outdo Mr J after all. What I don't anticipate, is the knife in my leg. Puddin has always been adventurous with knives, but he has never driven one straight through my leg so it pops out the other side. I cry out again and can't stop the tears from falling.

"Awww now look," Penguin's mocking me. "You made the poor little jester cry". I close my eyes, this is a whole new world of pain I have never experienced.

I hear footsteps coming closer as I place my head on the cold ground. He grabs my hair by its roots, messing up my pigtails and forcing me onto my knees. The knife presses harder into my thigh. "Tell me about the Joker", Penguin shouts in my ears. I shake my head weakly. He begins to pull the knife back out of my leg. I scream. "Tell me", he roars again. "What are his plans, what's he doing". I stay silent, waiting for the pain. Oh how I wish it was Mr J pulling at my hair. Penguin smashes my head into the floor, I acknowledge the deafening crack as my skull makes contact with concrete and the pulling of my belt from around my waist before I fall back into darkness.

*Joke from the internet.


	4. Chapter 4

Cat and Mouse 5

Joker's prov

'I hate her', I think to myself as I pace the floor of the mangers office in the steel mill, the only place in Arkham city that I have decided to call my 'home'. 'How could she be so stupid', I stop pacing and giggle to myself, what a stupid question, everyones knows she is.

My current dilemma though, is what I should do about her. My plan was to kill Penguin anyway, so what if I'm a littler early in the proceedings. On the other hand, I could always leave her, I'm pretty sure Penguin wont kill her, she'd be too valuable, what with knowing my plans and everything. The problem with that idea though, is that every time I think of leaving her in the grasp of that fat, disgusting piece of shit, I get this annoying feeling in the bottom of my stomach that wont go away and my chest becomes too tight like its hard to breath. I make a mental note to punch in the face later.

The other issue is that I haven't really got a plan, usually Harley sorts the guys out - giving them guns and training them, usual things - while I plan my heists. But since she's gone and got herself kidnapped its up to me to make sure this place doesn't go to blinking blue blazers, leaving little time for battle strategies. And since Penguin blew up the main bridge, I'm at a loss for how to get into that museum of his. It's basically a fortress, but I always enjoy a challenge. So far all I can think of it how I'm going to poke out his eyes, maybe cut off his tongue - I have him labeled as a squealer, oh and maybe get Harley back. The tightening sensation returns as I think of the last time I saw her. I punch the wall and return to concentrating on how to get across the amusement mile, park row and the bowery without rousing too much suspicion. Obviously that's not my style, but Strange will only dish out so many weapons and its no secret that Penguin has all sorts of military crap.

My agitation starts to get to me and my desire to break someones nose makes my right hand start to shake. I waltz out of the office and down into the loading bay, humming 'twinkle twinkle'. As I push open the door, ready to pounce on the unsuspecting loser on the other side I catch part of the conversation the guys were having.

"yeh, Mike said he saw him too".

"What's he doing round the sewers?"

I stop. A thought has just occurred to me. I bounce in, a large smile on my face. "Boys, a little help".

A map of the sewers is spread out across my desk. It's pretty damn lucky theres some nobody in this place who knows about the sewer system - apparently it links the amusement mile to the subway system, which goes all the way to the bowery, where the museum is. Of course I had to shoot him afterwards, cant have loose ends running around after all. It's at this point the feeling in my chest is at its worst, Harley and I would have enjoyed messing with the rat before we killed him. It's always fun to let them think they'll live before shooting them, but somehow it wasn't the same without those high pitched vocals giggling in my ear as I slice up his face.

I sigh as the blood pours out of his mouth and eyes and drips onto the floor. It's not like I enjoy constantly being caressed, but a guy gets used to certain things. Then it hits me. My plan finally comes together in a whirlwind of ideas and hunches. 'How ironic', I think to myself, 'that Harley is most helpful when she isn't here'. I straighten my purple suite, its immaculate as always and open the windows that overlook the loading bay.

"Get your coats boys", I shout to the crowd below. "We've got some _entertaining_ to do". I take a bow as they cheer for me. "Now listen, in case you haven't heard, tweety pie has made his first move by coming into _my_ territory. So it's only fair we repay the favor!" I begin to laugh, this is going to be so much fun! "I want everyone in that sewer in the next fifteen minutes clearing out the subway. If you even smell a penguin shoot them to hell."

I turn back to the office when I hear at murmur "So he does love her".

Oh, big mistake pal.

I turn back around, my smiler growing wider as I address this piece of shit. "What did you say pumpkin?" The man stares at me. I don't recognize him, probably new. He remains silent. "You see, cupcake, Penguin has Harley and Harley knows our secrets. Do I have to spell it out for you what will happen if she lets them _slip_?" "No...No...No...sir...I'm sorry sir...I didn't mean.." I shot him in the eye before he can finish. Love her indeed, what kind of floozy do they take me for!

"Get ready", I tell them, not bothering to keep the distain out of my voice, they know the rules and don't comment further.

It's bloody freezing out here. My guys have cleared the tunnels and done a fine job if I do say so myself. Any of Penguin's guys are dead and Two - Face is too Pussy to face me. Riddles just wouldn't dare, so it'll be a nice walk in the park from here to there. I have plenty of bombs for diversions and the outfits of Penguin's thugs will provide nice little covers for my guys.

The sewer still smells though. I watch where I walk, it would be rude to face bird brain with shit all over my new shoes and I don't do bad etiquette; I even have a new flower in my pocket just for the occasion, but my old switch blade is just inside my pocket. I smile to myself - a personal touch never did anyone any harm. And then the laughter comes, it starts as a giggle in my chest before morphing into manic hysterics. My crew don't dare look, they keep their heads down and fall silent as my laughter fills the dark tunnels, probably wondering or fearing what exactly has made the Joker so happy.


	5. Chapter 5

Cat and Mouse 5

Penguin's prov

The floor of the war room is littered with my battle plans, penguins substituting my movements across Arkham city. I have to admit the Clown outnumbers me, but I have an ace up my sleeve which will prove to be _very_ useful. I stare at her across the room. Im not stupid enough the think that I will win control of the streets if she dies, she knows Joker's plans and she _will_ talk before the night is through. After our little fiasco in the gladiator pit, where the bitch took out half my guys, I have placed her in one of the exhibits. I had it especially made for her and when I'm done killing the _Clown Prince_, it'll be her permanent residence. She hasn't moved for a while now, perhaps I hit her harder than I thought, though I would have assumed it would take more than a bump on the head to damage that thick skull. As I regard her thoughtfully, I can't help but admit why Joker keeps her around, she isn't half bad to look at; her painted face has began to wash off and her blonde hair has gotten lose of her pigtails, making her look much younger and normal. If I hadn't have knocked her out myself I would have thought she was sleeping. I wait patiently for her to wake up, I have my own method of torture to inflict upon her, which I'm quite excited about, I'm looking forward to hearing those high pitched screams fall from that pretty little mouth.

Just as I'm about to return to planning my way across the industrial district, I hear her stir. The sight sigh as she moves her head and rustling of her costume tells me she's sitting up. I smirk cruelly at her as her eyes widen in horror and she bangs on the glass.

"What the hell is this Cobblepot?"

I don't answer her, but just raise my eyebrows. She bangs on the glass again, harder this time and I revel in the notion that she realizes where she is.

"You wont get away this you bastard", she yells. "My puddin will get me out and he'll make you pay".

"Oh I'm counting on it", I smile as her face falls. "And when he comes charging in to save his _lady,_ i'll knock him right off his gallant white horse and feed him to Tiny. Hell maybe I'll even film it and sell it to the highest bidder". I chuckle. 'Not a bad idea Oz', I think. 'There'll be millions in the death of the Joker'.

"Don't you dare", she screams. "I'll kill you. I'll rip out your other eye and stomp on it. I'll break every bone in your fat useless body".

I zone out, god that voice makes my ears hurt. I'm surprised nearby dogs haven't congregated outside.

She's still banging on the glass and shouting obscenities as I pour myself a glass of scotch. Anything to make that racket stop. As I down the glass in one I think I'll cut her a break, she obviously doesn't understand.

As she pauses to take a breath I explain. "Your boyfriend thinks he's so clever, so good, just waltzing into bars and expecting the best and shooting whoever if things don't go his way. Like a spoiled little brat. A _child_", I can tell that one stings. "Well his time is over missy. Today will mark a new generation. A new era. The time of the Penguin has come. Joker is old and outdated, no one cares about him anymore. They need someone new to fear, someone who can provide true fear instead of a pathetic box of magic tricks." The look on her face is priceless. "I'll kill the Joker and Gotham will love me. Just think: Penguin, Gotham's true savior - eat your heart out Batman." I giggle to myself. "I'll have his body framed and placed in the Iceberg Lounge so everyone can see how much of a hero I am. And _you_, my dear will be the one to help me." She's either so shocked or so angry she doesn't say a word. Thankfully - if I have to hear another syllable I might just cut out her tongue.

"You see, I have the Clown all figured out. I see what lies behind that self-righteous mask when no one else does. I see that behind the beatings and the insults he gives you, there's affection, that the broken bones mean more than just a punishment".

I enjoy watching the color drain from her face, she shakes her head weakly.

'Oh yes', I think. 'I know that on some twisted level he values her, maybe even loves her'.

And it's how I'll break him.


	6. Chapter 6

Cat & Mouse

'often expressed as cat-and-mouse game, it means "a contrived action involving constant pursuit'.

Joker's prov

Who the hell thought up of this subway, its a maze down here. Next time I decide to blow somewhere up for funzies, I'll make this a primary target, hell its not like anyone's using it!

We've made it to through the sewers into the subway station. It even smells down here too. The radio I took from blood boy back in the steel mill has proven to be quite useful, I almost regret killing him now. I giggle to myself, like hell I do.

Penguin has guys everywhere. And it appears they are all fitted with heart rate monitors, so taking them out was more of a challenge than I expected; we had to rip out the monitors and fit it to one of my guys so the heart rate stays the same, to lure Penguin into a false sense of security. I can't help but laugh, thinking of Penguin all shut up in his museum thinking everything is fine and dandy, when really I'm only a few minutes away. I let some of his guys live if they joined up with us - jeez I must be growing soft in my old age, maybe when it's all over I'll throw them off the Ace chemicals building - I've heard its quite a drop!

It's also a pretty damn challenge taking out his guys one by one, now I know how Bats must feel - I'll cut him some slack next time, but we eventually made it just outside the museum. We hide around the corner away from the Iceberg Lounge. The next part of my plan is pretty simple, I send a group of my guys to watch over every exit, making sure no one goes in or out. I give strict instructions to kill anyone who goes near them and toss them a few extra guns and explosives to be sure.

The rest are coming with me in through the museum entrance. We've tuned Penguin's radio into our system so the whole gang can hear what Penguin's plans are, it might make things a little easier on those idiots to get a heads up and gives us the element of surprise. My main goal of this little_ exercise_ is to take down as many of Penguin's thugs as possible without him knowing, so when the time comes, they'll be no back up to save him.

The museums pretty dead inside. The lack of electricity give the foyer a dark, gloomy look, although the security for the shutters still work. 'This could get annoying', I think to myself as another one of the boys walks to far forwards, causing the heavy metal shutters in front to fall down. It's at this point I could really do with some of Batman's toys to help bypass the security override, but time is short so I grab one my guys and walk towards the shutters, this I'm ready though and just as the they are about the fall again I kick his legs out from under him and throw him under the falling metal. There's a crash as the shutters split his spine, but he's big enough to leave a gap between the shutters and the floor, providing space for me and the rest to shimmy under.

Once we are in, and the sound of a giant T -Rex hasn't deafened me, we make our way through Penguin's fortress, placing bombs and explosive here and there. When were done I'm going to blow this place to the god damn south pole. It's pretty deserted, with nothing but the occasional dead body hanging littering the floors. One wall at the end of the corridor says 'Recruitment's this way' and a large arrow pointing, I smile. 'So this is where the fun starts', I take out my gun and my men follow suit. I hold back though. "Now listen up", I explain to them. "Penguin probably knows were on the way, so look lively and take down as many as you can. I won't take failure _lightly_'. I send a group in first, waiting to hear the sound of bullets bouncing off the walls, but I don't there is just silence. Not even a scream. The boys look at each other. I sigh. "Do I have to do everything myself around here?" But I'm just as shocked to turn the corner and see a large empty space, fair enough theres a large pile of bodies ('That's my girl', I think), but there are no thugs are stood around waiting to be ambushed, no Penguin on top of his high pedestal and no Harley.

"Oh come on", I whine. "Whats a fight with only one team?" I kick a dead body.

Just then, a big metal door slams shut behind us.

"Look alive Joker".


	7. Chapter 7

Cat & Mouse

The "cat" is unable to secure a definitive victory over the "mouse", who despite not being able to defeat the cat, is able to avoid capture.

Harley's prov.

It's getting harder and harder to breath in this glass cage. My panic had caused my breathing to increase, using up more what little oxygen there is. He can't be doing this, he can't be luring the Joker here by using me as _bait_. Mr J will see right through that little plot, I know he will.

I've given up trying to break the glass, it's too thick and I'm so battered and broken I have no energy left. Just gazing at my reflection in the glass lets me know I no longer look like Harley. The bruises Mr J gave me have already doubled in size, so my face is no longer pale and smooth, but is covered in purple an green splotches. The same is with my body, I have so many bruises I look like a leopard and the knife in my leg is still there since I daren't risk taking it out. The pool of blood I'm lying in shows how much blood I've already lost and I know from experience that if I lose anymore I'll pass out.

Penguin has left me alone, thank god. He said something about preparing his stage and I'm so weak I can't even bring myself to ask him about it, I figured that I've lost so much of my dignity already what's a little more.

I'm now so numb with pain I can only bring my hand up to touch the glass, I start making patterned with my fingers to pass the time when I notice what is stretched out in front of me. I gasp. Penguin, so blinded my his arrogance, has put me in his war room to taunt me, but has forgotten to clear away his plans. 'Oh, Penguin', I smile to myself, 'You should have killed me when you had the chance'. I quickly force my body to stand up and look out across the floor at his battle plans. It's a map of Arkham city, with the occasional bird and chattering teeth here and there. I don't really understand it, but from I can make out Penguin is directing his forces through park row up to the amusement mile. There's suddenly a hiss of a door opening, so I fall back to the floor of my cage, pretending to have passed out.

"Oh man, there she is".

"Yeh, the Joker's pet, in the flesh". I resist turning over and demanding just the who the hell he is calling me 'pet'.

"She ain't bad".

"Nah, Catwoman is hotter".

"Yeh and Poison Ivy, but I wouldn't dare touch either of them".

"Haha, at least with this one, you'd leave with all your limbs".

"Yeh, it'll only take a few nice words and a box of chocolates she's so stupid". I carry on listening, biting my lip to keep quite.

"Hey listen, were here to keep an eye on her, why don't we see if we can ride the Harley". Oh god, no. No, no no no.

"Listen man, I want a ride just as much as the rest, but won't Penguin be pissed".

"He doesn't have to know". I hear the sound of the glass moving and fresh oxygen fills my lungs. I feel hands around my waist, pulling me towards them. I react quickly, using all my strength to kick him in the nose. I hear a satisfying crunch as it breaks and he falls to the floor howling in pain. The other guy leaps at me, so I poke him in eyes as hard as I can, then using his body weight I drag him next to me and roll over onto the floor. I stand up with much effort and although my bones are protesting against my sudden movements, this may be the only time I could escape. I pull the other guy up by his hair and force him into the exhibit with his friend, I then press the button and the glass falls back into place trapping my would be rapists inside. I take one last look around the room before deciding to make a break for it.

I open the door and follow the corridor out onto the torture chamber, pausing every now and then to take a breath and rest my aching joints. I also decide the time has come to do something about the knife in my leg. I look down at it, the sight makes my feel a little queasy. My belt has also gone, strange that I didn't notice it before, but then again its only a belt. I rip some of trouser leg off and wrap it around the wound, before slowly inching the knife out. It hurts so much, but my adrenaline takes hold and prevents me from crying out. I wrap the wound as tightly as I can, but the blood is already beginning to soak my trousers. I begin to panic again, Penguin must have something I could use somewhere.

Looking out onto the vast icy lake, I realize I didn't anticipate which way the exit is let alone how I'm going to cross, especially with my rapidly bleeding leg. I look up, there's metal wiring above and some grates that run around the edge of the chamber. It's a long shot, but if Catwoman can do it I can right? I raise my arms above my head, 'dear, god', I gasp, my arms ache horribly, but I'm Harley Quinn and I don't give up easily. I grasp the edges of the grate and shimmy along the side, not daring to look down into the darkness of the lake. The sound of my blood dripping into the water makes me wonder if Penguin really does keep a shark down there.

Once I reach the side of the chamber and feel its safe to let go, I drop down, my bad leg giving out and causing me to hold onto the wall for support. Across the lake is the huge freaky looking face which marks the entrance to the Iceberg Lounge. I'm thankful to be as far away from Penguin as possible and turn around to make my escape. As I push open the big double doors, quite a challenge in my current condition, I walk straight into the man I've been running from. He looks as shocked as I do.

"How the hell did you get out you little bitch", he screams. He so much smaller than me his head only comes up to my chest, I know I could easily take him in a one on one fight, but it just so happens he is surrounded by goons, all who grab hold of me and administer a few more punches, to knock me back down. I feel my nose break, 'so much for no broken bones', I think. I feel my check bones being to give way as well as more blood dripping down the side of my face. I wonder idly if my head has been split.

"Bring her in here", Penguin sneers and turns to walk back down the corridor. "I think it's time we make ourselves a harlequin doll".


	8. Chapter 8

Cat & Mouse

The term is derived from the hunting behavior of domestic cats, which often appear to "play" with prey by releasing it after capture.

Joker's prov.

Penguin struts forwards on to a platform overlooking us.

"Pengers", I smile. "I'd thought you'd gone and done something stupid, like _running away_". I notice his one eye twitch. "Although, I wouldn't have been surprised. You always did lack back bone".

"So Joker, finally decided to pay me a little visit?" One of his goons pulls out a cigar and places it in mouth before lighting it. Penguin takes a smoke before blowing it out, smiling at me. I glare at him. "I'm sorry my home isn't as up to standard as usual. I had a little _problem_ earlier you see." His smile grows wider. Oh I am kill him. I'll take that cigar out of his disgusting mouth and burn every inch of his body with it. Come to think of it, that could actually be a pretty good experiment, I've always wondered if fat makes you burn quicker.

" A problem?" I ask, putting on my melodrama. "On dear, not a problem, don't tell me you let a little _problem_ ruin your...er... _beautiful_ home?"

"Come to think of it Joker, I didn't". What? Oh yes, I forgot we were talking about Harley. That miserable, worthless dame I trekked all this way for.

Penguin gesturers to one of his men and they bring out... Jesus Christ... is that Harley? She looks like a god damn rag doll. My men gasp and unconsciously take a step away from me. Penguin grabs her hair and kicks the back of her legs causing her to fall to her knees, he pulls harder, forcing her head back so I can see her face. Shit. It looks worse than anything I've ever done. Her once blonde hair is no longer in its pristine pigtails, but falls around her face and is matted with dried blood. Her blue eyes are dark, surrounded by black bruises and the swelling is forcing her to close them. Her nose is obviously broken, the blood mingling with that of her split lips. The rest of her body is hardly recognizable, it looks as if someone has thrown black and purple and green paint all over her. Usually those are my favorite colors, but right now I've never hated them more. The thing that catches my eye is the large blood soaked piece of trouser that has been ripped off to cover what looks like a fucking big gash.

The tightening in my chest returns. What the fuck is happening to me? "Harley", I whisper.

"You see Joker, I am the better man. You've fallen so far by allowing your_ feelings_ to get in the way. Though I have to say, its quite nice knowing you have some, all this time I thought you were just a cold heartless bastard. Still, even the best of us sometimes get it wrong". A deep growl begins in my throat. "Just think Clown, during these last moments you can watch your whole reputation crumble. The mighty Joker, fallen in _love_. I thought it was just rumors when I heard you'd fallen for your doctor. But they're actually true!" He begins to laugh. "I can't wait to let the whole world know your just as much of a pansy as the rest of these god damn chumps". He doubles over laughing. I take out my gun and point it straight at his head. "Go", I shout. I don't shoot, but run to the edge of the ledge. My men open fire on Penguin's crew, but it doesn't take long for them to retaliate. Before my eyes the men I've trusted with this operation fall to the ground, bleeding profusely. As the rain of bullets begins to die away I stroll back into the centre of the pit and shoot the rest of Penguin's thugs. Some of my guys have made it and point their guns to Penguin, who has one hand on his umbrella, pointing it at me and the other has Harley's hair, preventing her from moving.

"Gotta say", I smile. "I had hoped you be more prepared". I put a hand to my head, my drama returning. "It seems a shame it's all over now, and there wasn't even cake".

Penguin turns around and on seeing his men are all dead, put down his umbrella and shouts "Gotcha", throwing Harley, by her hair, down into the pit. I drop my gun and rush forwards to catch her, sliding on my knees just as she's about to hit the floor and catch her bridal style. She looks up at me through her swollen eyes, "Oh Mr J", she sighs, wrapping her arms around my neck so tight I think I'll suffocate. "You found me".

"Yes, yes, yes", I reply. "There's no need to make a scene".

"But he was gonna kill me", she whimpers, tears in her eyes.

"Oh for god's sake pull yourself together, you worthless brat", I exclaim. "We've gotta go bird hunting".

"We do?" she asks.

"Yes. And since your here making a scene and whining, our _bird_ has got away".

"Oh", she bows her head, "I'm sorry puddin".

I pat her on the head. "It's ok toots, hows about a little game of cat and mouse?"

"Oh I love cat and mouse", she squeals. I stand up with her still in my arms. "Think you can walk sugar?" She shakes her head. I sigh dramatically and wave one the surviving guys over. "Take Harley here outside, I'm going fishing".

"Put puddin, can't I come too?"

"You can't walk can you, you stupid brat!" I hand her over to the guy and take his gun. "Don't worry pumpkin, I'll bring you back his head". I then send them out and take off after Penguin.

It's not hard to find him, cooped up in his 'war room'. He didn't think I'd get in, but I am the Joker after all and what's a funny guy without his box of tricks*.

"Just leave Joker, get out", he panics.

"Ah ah ah, Penguin. That's no way to treat a guest". I walk towards him. "Now who's the better man". I begin laughing, I'll get my fun after all.

*Riddle from Arkham city.


	9. Chapter 9

Cat & Mouse

The term is derived from the hunting behavior of domestic cats, which often appear to "play" with prey by releasing it after capture.

Joker's prov.

'I'm going to need a new suit', I think, as I make my out out of the museum. 'I'm covered in so much blood, there's not a splash of purple anywhere and red really isn't my color'.

Harley's waiting for me as I open the doors, propped up against a pillar outside, she manages a smile for me. The rest of my crew I left outside are also there with her.

"So Boss", one asks. "Is it over?"

I smile my biggest smile, it makes him cave a little but I'm in such a good mood I ignore it.

"Why no my good man", I pat him on the back."It hasn't even begun". With that I pick up Harley and walk to the building on the opposite side.

"Ready for some mayhem cupcake", I ask. Harley beams up at me and tightens her arms around me neck.

"Oh Mr J, you know its my favorite!"

I turn around to face the museum; Penguin's so called fortress. I think I left him alive, but I don't really care. I smile again as I take out the detonator from my breast pocket and give it to Harley. "Here you go m'dear. Think of it as an early Christmas present". She gasps and covers my face with kisses.

"Harley", I manage between the caresses. "Harley push the damn button!"

She does and the whole museum, plus Iceberg lounge, go up in flames. It's a sight to behold and will probably rattle Strange's cage, but that's just a bonus.

As we watch the fireworks together I can't help but think what would have happened if Penguin had won, what would have happened to Harley? I look down into her smiling face and the chest sensation comes back in full force. My hands curl into fists, ready to break her pretty little neck but then I catch sight of her already broken face. Thanks to Penguin. He might have gotten out before the blast, who knows. Part of me hopes he did, just so we can do this little run around again sometime, but the other part takes solace that all his guys are dead in there. Anyway, I can't bring myself to hurt her again. Jeez Louise I am getting soft in my old age. But she isn't getting off without a beating. I look at her face again. Eh, maybe tomorrow.

Im not really sure if this is as good enough ending as I wanted, but I think it works ok. If I can come up with a better idea I might change it. Thanks for reading.


End file.
